Today was subdued and overcast, much like me… there’s some sort of ear-nose-throat thing in full bloom inside my head, to go with our lovely blossoming spring season. But fear not, kind readers— I still managed to make my way out to the bazaar, and I brought back a few goodies for you. Let’s have a look.

[click on each image to see a larger version]

Of course I’m a doctor, take off your clothes and I show you how I operate… three guesses what age group this sleep shirt is for.

I’m confused— is it hard for the wearer to cheat, or is it hard for anyone to cheat on the wearer, or is it just hard to cheat in general? Because I think it wouldn’t be too difficult to cheat if you went out dressed in that.

Guess it wasn’t hard for Mama Octopus to cheat— all her children are clearly from different fathers, ahem.

I had an idea in my head before about what “motorcyclist fashion” might be, and let me tell you, this shirt isn’t it.

The Madagascar crew: Marty, Melman, and… Cuddly Boy? Oh come on, it’s not that difficult to keep the alliteration going for three names, is it? And “cuddly” is not the first word I think of when I see a penguin, anyway.

Okay, this is just bizarre. Who carries a glass with a straw while playing basketball? The top player basket, that’s who.

Ah, the latest in our “renamed trademarks” series… Mickey’s mate, Dancing Girl.

Hmm, addicted to scrapbooking… that’s some pretty niche-y rehab market you got there.

Now I’m off to rehabilitate myself as well… see you guys tomorrow if this throat thing hasn’t killed me.

I went to this thing today at the 5M Migros (is the Antalya location still the only 5M in Turkey?) for the opening of a travel agency. My boyfriend is affiliated with the agency and tipped me off that there would be free food. The Turks know how to do this sort of thing in style. I mean, here’s a small agency branch with four workstations, in a shopping mall, and at the end of the day their job is to sell tickets to places, that’s all, and yet for the official opening there was an open buffet with free food and drinks, decorated tables, more flowers than you can shake a stick at, professional photographers and press people, and even a visit from the deputy mayor.

You just wouldn’t get that where I come from, especially not in a big city, and certainly not for the opening of a travel agency in a mall. Nobody would come. Nobody would care.

But the Turks, they love this sort of thing, and they do it very, very well. The set-up was amazing, white tableclothes and beautiful floral arrangements. The food was also delightful, and was even served over two courses— a first course of party sandwiches and nibbles, followed by some heartier snack fare of meatballs, sausages, and cheese puff pastries. It was as good as any restaurant food.

Open buffets are a bad idea for me. I become the greediest person on the face of the planet. I take “all you can eat” very, very literally. And this particular food was laid out plate by plate on each table rather than all in a central location, so when the plate on “my” table ran dry, I found myself scavenging off the remains of other tables (as was everyone else) until the servers came along with round two. And round three. And round four. I drank so much coke I thought I was going to be sick. I mean, they just keep giving it to you as long as you keep asking for it. How can you walk away from that?

Anyway, then the deputy mayor showed up, and all eyes were on him. Flash photography lit up the place. Everyone wanted pictures of him and of the agency staff. I got in on the action, but I was just doing it for fun. I suspect the rest of the press people are actually going to report this in their respective newspapers.

I went home with a lot to think about. In Turkey, when a small business opens (or expands, in this case), it’s cause for celebration. Big celebration. It was almost like a wedding reception. I’m trying to imagine something like this happening in New York or Los Angeles… No. It would be out of the question. But I had a great time today, and my advice to you is this: if you hear about a grand opening for something in Turkey, anything, go. You never know what you might find.