Might want to get that pigeon-toed thing looked at… or as we call it back home, “stamp foot.”

Uh… hmm. Which question first? Okay, what up with the white stuff on his front? Milk porn? And the line-up, why are they in a line-up? So many other questions, too, but I don’t have all day.

They finally ran out of stuff to say there in the middle.

I’ve had the busiest week ever, but today I’m taking a break, which means…

Have a good hump day, y’all.

Go Noppies!

Wait. What?

Fig. 62-1: Patchwork Bunny, acid overdose

The hills are alive with my reputation:

We went to the bank yesterday, and as we were sitting around waiting for our number to be called, I was reminded of a cultural difference I often notice but fail to report: the Turkish inclination to flash money. Now, perhaps it’s not so strange to see people holding money in a bank, but in most banks in the United States and Europe, people would keep their money concealed until they got up to the counter. In Turkey, if you look around the bank waiting area you notice that most people have their money out where everyone can see it. Check this guy, for instance— even though he has an envelope in his hand, he has taken the money out of it, and as you can see, it’s a stack of hundreds about half an inch thick. If I measure, for example, the first hundred pages of a book, it’s about the same thickness as that stack. So that’s, what, $10,000? I saw him counting the money at one point, and can confirm it’s not a stack of singles with a hundred on top.

I guess in the bank itself, my Western panic about “don’t give people a temptation to mug you” is a bit silly, since there are two heavily armed guards at the bank door and no one would be stupid enough to try mugging someone. Still, I don’t feel comfortable displaying my cash. I was raised to think that finances are a very private thing, and that you should guard any information, including how much money you have in your pocket, from prying eyes.

Turks seem proud of how much they have— I have Turkish friends who have absolutely no problem telling strangers how much they make every month and how much is in their bank account at any given moment, even if it’s not a lot. And if they come into some unexpected money, they announce it as they would the birth of a child, and everyone celebrates the good fortune together.

Me, if I won some money or had some other windfall, I wouldn’t tell anyone outside my household. Aside from the fact that I don’t feel it’s anyone’s business how much money I have, I have a healthy dose of cynicism in me— I’ve certainly been on the receiving end of people coming out of the woodwork, and in my experience the only way to avoid it is not to let people know when you’re unexpectedly flush. Most of the Turks I know would be happy to tell everyone how much they won, and give a loan to whomever asked for one. They’re so much nicer than I am.

I don’t even know where to begin with this one: