I think we’re missing a letter here, although which letter is debatable:

The Association of People in Clothing:

Insert cherry joke:

Get it? Insert? Cherry? Ah, never mind.

I always thought golf was a sport, but no:

Brain go explody:

Captions, people, captions.

That sounds even better than the inflatable plastic one you bought last year.

I guess you have to find a different store if you’re an XXXXXXXL.

Sorry I’ve been gone a couple of days… I didn’t die, I’ve just been dead busy. I did manage to get some some photos that might be of interest to you, though. Behold!

It’s not as fantasy novel as it sounds— it’s just one of those things that causes severe tire damage if you drive the wrong way.

UK! New York! Er…mm… Suriname!

Because nothing says “appropriate for children” like a highly-trained gunman with mental issues.