That three-week decision period I was allowing myself for the Antalya marathon? I decided to call an end to it after a week, because it turned out it was not giving me a peaceful space to relax and weigh my options in the way I thought it would. Instead I was spending half my mental energy on training and the other half agonising over whether or not to do the race. The thing is though, if I want to be successful with the training I can’t afford for half my mind to be somewhere else, and having that trial period wasn’t helping me decide anything anyway. I needed to remove the question mark and commit, allowing me to focus my full attention and energy on the actual goal.
So consider this an official announcement: I’m participating in the Antalya marathon next March. I’ve signed up, and even stayed up half the night yesterday so I could get the bib number I wanted.
The decision came on Sunday during my long run; about halfway through I got stroppy and thought, why am I working so hard at this when I don’t even know if I’m doing this stupid race? That’s when I realised, okay then, if that variable is messing with my head so much, then it needs to be taken out. Step one of running a race is deciding to do it. That should have been obvious from the beginning but I’m slow on the uptake sometimes.
I’m no stranger to competitive running, I participate in races regularly, but this will be my first attempt at a 42k. 117 days to go, and nothing to think about but getting it done.
I’m feeling really good, really strong. Last week went well and that helps. Being consistent with yoga and meditation has probably been the biggest factor, so that needs to remain a priority. I had intermittent tantrum issues last week, but that should improve now that I’m no longer waffling about will-I-won’t-I.
So yeah, this is happening. Next step: choosing a charity. Watch this space.