Hotel guestbook chuckles

Yesterday I was talking about differences across the language-culture barrier as regards what translates as funny and what doesn’t. I also said that I had some more thoughts about grammatical problems that sound humourous to native English speakers but wouldn’t necessarily seem odd to people who speak English as a second language. I have some examples of those for you today, and I’m curious to know if those of you whose native language is not English understand why these make us giggle.

One of my friends works at a large all-inclusive five-star resort here in Antalya, and the hotel has one of those guestbooks on display where you can write your comments or whatever else you like for all the world to see. The resort sees a mixture of holiday makers, convention attendees, and business guests, and the guestbook is full of entries in multiple languages written by guests from all over the world. It seems, however, that most people try to write their entries in English if they can, sometimes with results that made me chuckle. In almost every case I knew what the author meant, but what they actually said implied something completely different, or sometimes didn’t make any sense at all. Here are a couple of gems:

One of my best business vacation that I have never ever have been. Thanks a lot from everyone. And I would like to mention in particular that the paint of traveling was worth the comfort to be here. [I’m confused— did he have a good time or didn’t he?]

I come with my boyfriend to your hotel two times. He made me come the first time and this time he made me come again and we had a good time at both times. [okay, gutter minds, you know what she meant. But yeah, it’s still funny.]

There were also a few entries I wanted to share with you that didn’t catch my attention because of grammar, but rather because of the content itself. These are off-topic, granted, but nonetheless I think you’ll find them entertaining and enlightening:

Holiday was a good time. Bedroom broken now. Sorry about that. Thanks. [this was followed by three signatures]

[In a child’s handwriting] My dad and I had a great time here at [hotel name]. I wish they wouldn’t allow girls in the pool but the rest was fun. [yeah, he’ll change his mind about that soon enough.]

Your chambermaids are the BEST. I mean it. The. Best.

Please get rid of your lobby pianist, because he doesn’t understand the meaning of “that was just a one-time thing.”

I’m sure next time you’re in a fancy hotel you’ll have a look through the guestbook, right? Let me know what you find.