Back in May I made public the formula for TurboCoffeeWOOWOOWOO, my homemade rocket-in-a-cup recipe for getting yourself launched during bouts of overwhelming laziness. Problem is, summer is here now, and I don’t care how much the Turks argue that hot drinks are refreshing in this weather, there’s no way I’m going to sit here in the 38-degree heat and drink a cup of boiling anything. That’s just insane, and it’s not gonna happen. We need cold drinks, people— stuff with lots of ice in it! Caffeine the volume of which would fall under “intent to distribute” probably wouldn’t hurt, either.
So without further ado, I bring you TurboCoffeeICEICEICE:
- Got a cocktail shaker? Yeah, I thought you might.
- Start by spooning a single serving amount (or double, what the hell) of some sort of iced coffee or chocolatey drink powder into the shaker. I personally use Nescafé Ice, but I’m vaguely aware that this may not be available in your area unless your area is here. I’m sure you can find some substitute— they must have these sorts of things everywhere. If necessary you can use Nesquik or even pre-mixed bottled cold coffee drinks. Be creative, think of something.
- Add three heaping spoonfuls of instant coffee (the kind you would normally use for instant hot coffee, Nescafé works fine but there are dozens of others)
- Scoop in as much sugar as you dare (for me, this means about eight sugars). If you’re using sugar cubes, you might want to dissolve them in cup first with a tablespoon of hot water and then pour the solution into the shaker.
- Fill the shaker to the top with cold milk (not necessary if you started with a pre-mixed coffee drink, obviously), shake vigorously for about a minute, and pour over copious amounts of ice.
This makes a nice (albeit bracing) summery drink that will get you going no matter how terminally sluggish you are. As usual, I’m keen to hear and see your remixing efforts, so please feel free to share your favourite variations with the group. I’ve been known to throw the whole mix in the blender with a banana, but I’m crazy like that. Enjoy!