Bang! Here we are with an armed-to-the-teeth bazaar special! A feeling of security is important, folks— so this spring, why not arm all your kids with the finest automatic weapons available?

bazaar

Oh, there’s nothing like emptying a cartridge at the sun.

bazaar

And don’t forget the little ones. Their safety is important, too.

Please, no e-mails asking if those are real guns. Figure it out. You’re smart.

Now, on with the regularly scheduled program.

[click on each image to see a larger version]

bazaar

These seem a bit niche-y… for Sam2 Only.

bazaar

Oh dear, just when I thought we’d exhausted every possibility with the suggestive children’s shirts…

bazaar

…we’ve not even come close to the bottom of the barrel.

bazaar

Yes, Brigham Young University is in Provo, Utah, but neither of those places are in Idaho.

bazaar

The reason I took this photo was not about the shirt itself, but the intriguing URL… http://www.lomekids.com/. I visited the English section of the site this afternoon, and in general it’s pretty boring Turklish, just a couple of misplaced apostrophes and spelling errors (I tried joining the Fun Clup with no success). But if you look at the photos section, some of the kids’ poses… hmmm. And a couple of those girls are wearing a lot of makeup for their age. But what I found most creepy was the breathing boy on the menu page— watch his head and his left leg for a while. Too bad we can’t really see what his shirt says.

bazaar

The makers of Tigger and Bear proudly present… Dog Family!

bazaar

And Baby Cats.

bazaar

Oh, come on. I can hardly believe this one. And of course, it’s a night shirt for little girls. I mean, you don’t even have to understand English to get it! “Mommy, why is the girl donkey looking at the boy donkey like that?”

bazaar

It’s always a good idea to temper conceit with a bit of honesty.

Now go have a good evening before I shoot someone.